As I was writing Breaking Vases
and reflect on my life, three main messages kept coming up.
Initially, there was a lot of doubt, regret, and worry of survival. But, as we begin to shatter the second, third, and fourth vases, we come to expect and know that things will work out in the end. This helps us to trust in ourselves more, and trust in the higher power that is guiding us in our journey.
Limiting beliefs don't just go away when a vase is smashed. It is not realistic for me to expect that I wake up every day and say, “Today I'm not going to have any negative thoughts about my life.” Even if I’m successful on day one, those thoughts may creep into my psyche the very next day. Limitations are like weeds that need a good pruning. We must be diligent, and keep up with our maintenance. The more limitations we shatter, the more we will realize how amazing life is when these limitations are not there. Since we become acclimated to that wonderful feeling, we eventually get to a point when we automatically know that it's time to take a pair of shears to the infernal weeds once again.
Believe in yourself; take tangible actions, and continue to move forward towards your dream, even if it's hard. It doesn’t make life perfect, but it makes it worth living.
The quest for perfection is taking our lives away from us, especially women. We aspire to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect daughter, the perfect employee, the perfect everything. It's so exhausting. There's no perfect, and who really defines perfection anyway?
Just the other day, I had a coaching session with my client, Kathy. She mentioned that she and her husband were building a new home. She admitted she's been having many arguments with him, because he wants the home to be done while she wants to take time to make it the perfect house. I explained to her, “What is perfect today may be different than what’s perfect in five years or 10 years. So, in 10 years, what exactly does perfect mean to you?”
It was then she realized her perception of what perfection really is would always change. It's astounding how often we use the word 'perfect'. We need to enjoy life, and we need to consider being okay with 80% perfection. Can you imagine how much more time you'll have in your life when not pressured to achieve the other 20%? The shattering of the "perfect" vase my grandmother spoke of helped me to illuminate life's amazing imperfections and helped me appreciate the beauty in the cracks. We need to smash that vase, so we can finally have a life and just breathe.
From my coaching work and my own story, I learn daily, over and over, the importance of breaking our vases. We must free ourselves from our internal and external limitations in order to have a chance of a meaningful, healthy, and happy life. Shattering these limiting vases is part of our purpose in life in order to create a better life for ourselves and for the next generation.
