The most impactful effect of breaking a vase is that it inspires others to do the same. When I broke my first vase, it had a profoundly positive affect on the women in my family. For the first time, they dared to discover their voice and began questioning their external and internal limitations. My broken vase resulted in both my mom and sister shattering their own. The women I held closest to my heart began a new cycle and we shattered the generational curse of misogynistic abuse and mistreatment.
In late 2015, my nephew Alex came for a visit. Being only three-years-old at the time, he ran into my home and immediately scampered off to explore its hidden treasures. Being that this was his first time there, he stopped to look at a ball filled with pieces of breakaway plastic glass I used in my TEDx talk. He stared inquisitively, no doubt mesmerized by the glittering pieces. With the innocence of what could only be found in a child, he asked me, “What is this?”
I froze and I felt that time had stopped. This simple question could uncover so many hidden truths. I thought to myself, "Should I tell him that your auntie likes to collect broken glass? Or, because of this broken glass, you are here today. Because of these shards, you have a better life? These powerful shards represent so much; your mom is free; your grandmother is free, and your aunt is free. We shattered the old generational cycle of abuse and created a whole new story of fulfillment and happiness." One day I will tell him the vase story, and give him his own vase to shatter.
The cost for my own life, had I not confronted these limiting beliefs, would have been depression. I've lived all my childhood life seeing women around me depressed and on medication whilst suffering from multiple nervous breakdowns. I would've had a life I did not belong in, but that’s not the highest cost. If I failed to confront these limitations, I would not have been able to fill anybody else’s glass with joy, because there would be none of myself to give. I would have given birth to daughters and taught them about the vase just as my grandmother taught me. I would have expected them to live the life of misery I had to live early in my life. I would've made more people miserable by pretending to be happy and satisfied with my life. And, because I cashed out of that life of desolation, the ripple effect happened.
As easy as it is to spread hope and inspiration, it’s just as easy to negatively affect people and pass on more limiting beliefs to the next generation, a fact we should always reflect upon. Any time we believe in ourselves and every action, we take a courage action. We're not just doing it for us; we are doing it for everybody around us. We’re doing it for the future generation in order to help them lead a life that otherwise would not have been possible.
Think of how, by breaking your vase, you could become a catalyst for hundreds more vases to shatter and how those hundreds of vases could cause thousands more to smash as well. You have the power to be an agent for change in every life you touch.
Keep breaking vases.
